It will get better. It really will. You will eventually be in a healthy place emotionally, but it’s okay if you need more time to heal. Do the hard work to be free because life is too sweet to remain stuck in the past.
When did you start your healing journey? She asked, feeling like a failure.
When I stopped pretending that I was okay. When I gave myself shame-free space to not be okay and figure it out one day at a time. When I stopped faking it, or running from it. I just ran into my pain determined that the cycle would stop with me. Heck-to-the-no, I won’t be passing this on to my daughters. Nope. Dysfunction would stop. Drowning in a sea of people pleasing would halt. Beating myself up and tearing myself down would stop. Healing began with being unashamedly done with victim labels.
The damaged goods label.
The fragile handle with care label.
I needed a new label that wasn’t based on lies.
I was done with shame-filled “should” and “if only.”
Maybe she wanted easy answers or a quick formula. But, I was more on the “let me hold your hand and tell you that you really CAN do this…but, this is freaking hard” side of things. All I knew was that my healing had to start with becoming better friends with my story, maybe hers could too.
Looking at her I didn’t see the Dead End sign or an eject button for all the people who desperately wanted to love her. I saw this moment as the beginning of something powerful in her life- the forward motion of healing that requires action.
We actually have to do something. Change something. Release something. And acknowledge that everyone is a little bit crazy, so we are in good company. Everyone has something that they are trying to get over. Trust me.
We begin to heal and move forward in our lives when we no longer wish we could erase the broken parts of our story. We can waste days and decades asking why, but when we look at life events that wrecked us to see how God carried us instead of what he didn’t do for us, our stories take on a different shape that looks a lot like moving on.
You are not behind everyone else on this journey; you are in the perfect place to begin again.
Some people stuff their emotions and then erupt. It’s quiet with them, but there’s tension in the air and a furrowed brow to show you how lost they are in their own head. They mask it until they can’t hide their emotions any longer and then they explode and it’s usually loud, messy, and lands all over the people who love them the most. Most of the time they run away, if not physically, they run away emotionally and learn how to be a skillful wall builder to keep others out. They just want to know they are loved as is, that what they feel and say matters. But, most of the time they are too afraid to say “it” when it’s easier to “stuff” it and put a lid on their pain.
Some prefer denial and acting like nothing is wrong. They are the thespian avoiders and eventually grow tired of pretending, so they place distance between them and the ones they love. Mainly because trying to be someone the person standing in front of them wants them to be is exhausting, so they stop trying. They don’t want to be a bother, so they remain stuck in a place that really doesn’t exist. They put off addressing the deep-rooted needs in their lives by focusing on “saving” and helping others who are wounded just like them. Often life feels safer remaining invisible, but their hearts long to be seen.
Others might prefer to process everything verbally. But, it swings wide like circles and spins like a tornado leaving a wake of damage because everyone around them gets sucked into the vortex of their drama. Something that started small always grows beyond what they can handle. The circle is the complaints about the same thing and the refusal to let go of bitterness clinging to records of wrongs with a death grip. They are wrapped up showing their scars because the hurt runs deep and took years to accumulate. They tend to like an audience and company in their chaos, but really they just want to know that they are not alone. They want to know that when they are “too much” and all over the map, that it’s okay and that you will love them enough to stay.
Truth be told, I have done all of the above so…no judgment here. I know what it is like to feel suffocated by being emotionally stuck. I know what it’s like to feel the same problems surfacing in my heart, my mouth echoing the same prayers, and my feet circling the same path. But, that’s not my life anymore.
I want to share with you how I became a woman unstuck. I made peace with my story and started looking at it with different eyes. My pain in many ways was and still is attached to my purpose.
You might have been abused or neglected, either physically or emotionally, but that is something that happened, not who you are. This much I know, my pain propelled me into my purpose…it cannot stop or halt what the power of God can restore and redeem for his glory. It’s not mine, it’s all his.
I stopped viewing brokenness as something to be ashamed of but embraced it because of the beautiful things brokenness built inside of me. I began to journal, not just to release my pain-laced words, but to move me forward in spiritual growth.
Prayer Journaling propelled me into a greater understanding of who I was in Christ and what I was holding onto that was weighing me down. Recently I sat down and really thought through what prayer journaling looked like and how to get started. Having a Soul Recovery Journal kept the momentum of healing and wholeness moving forward one page at a time.
Can I just keep it real? Some of the things you have faced will take extra time to get over. You have trust issue…even with God and I so get you. But, this starts with asking yourself this question: Do you want to get well? (John 5:1-9)
I want to spend some time walking you through steps and questions to help you get started with your Soul Recovery & Prayer Journal. I’m going include graphics for you to use, pin, and share that have simple things to help you begin to move forward and move closer to the heart of God.
You in? If yes, please leave a comment and let me know because I am so excited about going on this journey with you!
You’ve got this because God has you. Don’t let fear paralyze you, or become comfortable with captivity from the enemy when freedom is God’s plan for you.