“There was a woman present, so twisted and bent over…that she couldn’t even look up.”
I was invited to a prayer meeting at my mentor’s house many years ago. I was the new girl and only knew a few of the ladies, which is pretty much pure hell for introverts. Things began to shift inside of my heart and I knew for certain God was bringing me into a new season that looked a lot like freedom. These ladies had been meeting together for a decade. They were all ages and backgrounds, and all profoundly devoted to God, but still in the process of healing. Some were further along than others.
We are all trying to get over something. And, then there are a handful of people who have made friends with their baggage and can’t seem to let go.
A guest was brought in to speak to our group and then pray for us. She was tall, poised, deeply profound and intentional about every word that left her mouth. And…she scared the crap out of me.
She could see right through me.
I sat in the chair knowing God was going to read my mail and because I am so relational, I knew he would use one strong woman to speak to the strong woman within me that had reverted back to an old pattern that was holding me captive. I leaned back in my chair and listened. I didn’t want to be singled out but I also didn’t want to remain stuck and held back in new situations.
When it came time for prayer she looked at me and said, “You’re held back.”
Um, yeah, I was completely aware of that.
What I couldn’t figure out was why. Why after all of these years of progress and becoming more in Christ did I still revert back to a defeated default setting? It was because I had been hurt and had deep wounds that became fragments in my identity held together by insecurity and feelings of, “I’m not good or smart enough.”
BUT, I had also received healing, why wasn’t I walking in that?
It was a mindset problem. We can either take our thoughts captive or be held captive by them. There is an epidemic sweeping throughout the hearts of women, we have outed our brokenness and can talk about it freely. Which is good, but somehow brokenness has become the lead character in our story not the backstory or the catalyst it was meant to be.
Every story ends with a resolution and tying up of loose ends, so to speak. But with believers, the resolution is restoration and wholeness in Christ.
I believe it’s okay to not be okay…for a season. But, beyond that, is a freedom so powerful that it deserves to take the leading role in our stories. The power of the Holy Spirit is always greater and more powerful than the thing that broke you.
“There was a woman present, so twisted and bent over with arthritis that she couldn’t even look up. She had been afflicted with this for eighteen years. When Jesus saw her, he called her over. “Woman, you’re free!” He laid hands on her and suddenly she was standing straight and tall, giving glory to God.” (Luke 13:10-13 MSG)
He Called Her Forward, Then He Set Her Free
I’m afraid that we have been walking around with bent-over and twisted hearts for far too long. It has become a mindset of stuck-ness and permanent posture.
Jesus saw her, just like he sees you. He called her forward so that he could set her free.
“Woman, you are free.”
She was no longer the one with the twisted body and heart, she was standing straight and tall and giving all the glory to God.
If you want to know why I was held back, I’ll tell you. My mindset was still twisted and bent over in such a way that I couldn’t look up. I was stuck in a pattern of destructive thinking that crippled me and robbed me of my power in Christ. I had access to it, but I wasn’t walking in it. I realized almost free wasn’t freedom at all. I think it’s time for brokenness to take a backseat and real breakthrough that lasts to become our focus.
He called her forward…then he set her free. You can’t be a victim when your hands are in the air praising God.
God is in the restoration business of soul and stories. Brokenness, it’s time for you to take a backseat.
So much love to you,
We are in this together.