Dreams & Disappointments​

vintage type.jpg

Life rarely looks like how we imagine it should. We separate work and dreams because often there is a chasm between where we are in life and where we really want to be. Doing that work that sets your soul on fire isn’t a blazing fire in the beginning. Honestly, it’s not even close to a spark. It looks a lot like disappointment and working hard on something you’re not really crazy about. You might even hate it.

 

I spoke to a young woman last week who feels stuck. How do I tell her this is often where we start or, at least, learn how to start? How do I tell her our restart requires trading lofty expectations for gut-wrenching surrender without sounding like a major Debbie Downer?

 

My ministry, and even how I have earned an income, has often looked nothing like I thought it would. I was hidden in the shadows for so many years, some of those years I chose those shadows but often I did not.

 

I waited nineteen years before I was hired and even recognized as a minister in my own right. Nineteen. But, what I have now is this- a ministry that doesn’t really depend on, or cling, to titles or pay. When this season ends, and it will, I will still be who I’ve always been- a girl who just wants to be faithful.

 

Opportunities come and go. Positions change, shift, fizzle out and sometimes are wrongly phased-out. No one really knows what they are doing and every day looks like a question mark. I guess that’s just another reason to put our hope in God and not companies or scared people looking at dollar signs.

 

Callings do not fade, fads do.

 

No business, paycheck, or person gets to take away your purpose. Your calling doesn’t expire, it’s irrevocable. You are still the answer to someone’s prayers. You are still needed desperately for right now. Do the thing that scares you. Don’t wait.

 

Find that one thing that makes you feel alive and do it. Even if you are bringing in an abysmal paycheck doing something you loathe and have very little to give at the end of your day, spend thirty minutes to an hour on that God-given dream and beg it not to die.

 

I went through a season where I was certain that every dream inside of my heart had died. Later, I realized that those dreams were not dead, they were dormant. They were only asleep and inactive because the season wasn’t right. The soil and temperature of my life wasn’t a good climate for those dreams to come to life and produce fruit. They were simply waiting. Some of those things are still slumbering now while some are in full bloom. But, I have learned to wait. I have learned to trust in the God who is still resurrecting dead things.

 

I am finding that it is less and less about the dream and all about the dream-giver and what He is doing inside of this heart of mine. God’s redirection isn’t a punishment, it’s ultimately about his divine placement for your life.

 

Every crisis that Joseph faced from being thrown into a pit, sold by his brothers into slavery, and then unjustly sentenced in prison led him to his divine destiny of being the King’s dream interpreter and ultimately leading the kingdom. It wasn’t about imprisonment, it was about placement. (Genesis 37-50)

Each circumstance in Joseph’s life felt like God was taking him in the opposite direction of his promise. Isn’t that how we all feel sometimes? We feel like we are on the opposite side of where we hoped we would be. When we see a prison sentence, God sees as an opportunity for us to be divinely positioned for the coming plan for our lives.

 

Your dream isn’t dead, it’s dormant. Don’t ask God to wake it up before it’s time, ask him to wake you up. Ask him to breathe new life into your heart and passion. You are the answer someone is praying for today. Don’t give up.

 

So much love to you,

Jennifer

“…for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable.” (Romans 11:29)

4 thoughts on “Dreams & Disappointments​

  1. This is so hope-filled, Jennifer. Thank you! I have learned to let go of lofty expectations, too. I used to think I needed to write a book in order to be a real writer, but I have learned that God’s calling me to write isn’t about acknowledgement or pay. Now I just write a blog for the Audience of One and all the hurting souls He wants to reach. Like you say, I’m a girl who just wants to be faithful. Love and hugs to you!

Comments are closed.