There's a backlash to your breakthrough.

We naturally assume people want us to be the healthiest versions of ourselves. But what if we’re no longer recognizable? As in, you used to be easier to manipulate and now that you’re speaking up for yourself… you seem a tiny bit difficult. (Psst, you’re not difficult. You’re brave.)

Sometimes there’s a backlash to your breakthrough from people who benefited from your lack of boundaries in the past. Establish them anyway, even if you are met with resistance. Boundaries aren’t to keep people out of your life. They are put in place to offer protection and the hope of safe, healthy connection. 

The goal is a healthy relationship and healthy individuals, but you can only live up to your part of that bargain. 

Your healing and breakthrough might tick some people off, especially if you are a recovering people pleaser. Of course, they like the version of you that lacked boundaries. Sure, you seem flexible when you don’t express your personal preferences. But…

People who have benefited from your brokenness in the past will not like the healed version of you. And that’s okay. Heal anyway. It might cause friction in your relationships for a little while, but those who love you want you to be okay. You don’t have to fake that you’re fine when you’re not. 

If we can sit in the tension of the backlash knowing our breakthrough, and the growth we’ve experienced is worth it, we will bring the best version of ourselves into our relationships. I’ve had to confront behavior that was incredibly harmful and had to remove myself from old patterns of sweep things under the rug at the expense of my health. 

There’s not a rug big enough to cover up what needs to be cleaned up and thrown out.

After a few years in therapy, I was able to fully explain what was happening and give it a name instead of dismissing it. I started advocating for myself like I had been for others. 

Boundaries look good on you.

Your breakthrough is worth the backlash. 

Staying in a situation that is not God’s best for you isn’t kindness, it’s killing the version of yourself that you long to be. 

What is your peace worth? 

We can’t have breakthroughs without breaking bad patterns in our life.