Your Struggle Doesn't Define You

It’s hard to share the messy and hard parts of our story. Most of the time shame is the reason why we stay silent. But, shame stunts spiritual and emotional growth. Shame is not the Holy Spirit, nor should it be the tone we take with someone in the trenches with their struggles. 

To heal from the inside out, shame can no longer be the narrator in our struggle story. Shame says, “Look what you’ve done?” or, “What did you do to deserve this affliction.”Healing says, “Baby, look at what all you’ve had to overcome! That was hard work.”

Jesus had an encounter with the woman at the well, hiding out in the heat of the day to draw water and get what she needed without the whispers and judgment. (John 4) Jesus asks her for a drink of water that he needs because he knows that with his help, broken people still have something to offer and value. It was her status as a Samaritan that made her feel unworthy. But, I wonder if the shame-filled part of her story was another reason why she assumed Jesus wouldn’t want water from her. 

“If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he WOULD have given you living water.” (vs. 10)

The end of their encounter was the end of shame and condemnation narrating her story. Redemption was the narrator of her story now. None of us are without blemish, but Jesus told these women to move on from the shame dictating their stories from that point on. 

His approach was grace upon grace, not shame upon shame. His voice was the shame detangler, "Go and sin no more," not go back to what broke you. 

Lean in because I want you to get this, remove yourself from a life of shame … rather than returning to what broke you and the time in your life where shame took the lead role in your story. 

If we want to heal, shame and self-inflicting wounds that says, “you deserve” what broke you has to be uprooted and replaced with redemption that is a done-deal and paid for in full. Broken people who make mistakes can still run towards the fire to offer water to someone who needs it. Shame stunts, but grace is the most beautiful eraser. 

You're not the darkest part of your story. You are not the sum of your mess, missteps, addictions, or mistakes passed down from generations to you. And, because your shame is no longer center-stage, your story will be a healing salve and inspiration for others.